SAN DIEGO - Caleb Shikles was possessed with an optimism so relentless you had no choice but to surrender to it.
The ex-Baptist minister with a shock of white hair died in late March just a week shy of his 95th birthday; but not before leaving a unique legacy online — a weekly, worldwide, virtual hug via HugNation.com.
Grandpa Caleb and John "Halcyon" Styn on Halloween
Hug Nation was the brainchild of Caleb's grandson, John Styn, a Burning Man disciple, artist and Internet pioneer with pierced nipples, washboard abs, shocking pink hair and a dizzying creative energy. In 2001, John was living in an experimental "webcam house" in San Diego where dozens of cameras recorded occupants' every move.
"Thanksgiving Day we invited a bunch of people who didn't have anyone to hang out with into this chat room; and if you had a webcam, turn it on yourself," says John. "As people were going around the table sharing what they were thankful for, it felt like we were together. It felt like we were sharing. People were crying."
Not long after that virtual grace, Caleb's wife died, and John started to spend more time with his grandfather. He realized that Caleb still had an immense amount of love and optimism to offer a troubled and lonely world.
John recalls it this way: "I was like, wow, Grandpa, you always help me see the glass as half-full. And he just leaned back and he says, 'It's a beautiful glass.'"
Divergent lives
Caleb's life reads like a Steinbeck novel. Born in Missouri, he lost his father and baby brother during the flu epidemic in 1918. The epidemic left him deaf in one ear.
He began to focus on religion, reciting scripture for a dime a verse. As a teenager he moved to Southern California with his mother. He went to college, got married and became a Baptist preacher. A civil rights and anti-war activist, he worked with Martin Luther King for a week during a trip to Denver.
John's life reads more like science fiction. He passed up a potential career in psychology to delve deeply into the Web and alternative communities. He started a Web site, cockybastard.com (it won a 2000 Webby award for best Web site), in which he posted "beefcake photos of himself," sharing personal details and inviting readers to respond.
"We never hugged in my family until we became grown. A hug — you feel the heart beat. You feel this person is your brother, your sister as you grab them." — Caleb Shikles
"I did what I would call a digital striptease," disclosing his insecurities about skin or sexual problems, John says. "The more I would share, people would love me more. My therapy became this online process. I did not get weaker by sharing my weaknesses, but stronger, less fearful."
'Connect and be positive'
Together, John and Caleb appeared on Hug Nation each week. Like two bars on the color spectrum, pink-haired John and white-haired Caleb sat side by side in front of a webcam, encouraging viewers to envision hugging their loved ones, friends, neighbors, even strangers on the street.
At the end of each brief session, grandfather and grandson would embrace on camera and thank each other.
Grandpa Caleb and John tape Hug Nation
Though the audience was relatively small — usually a few dozen people — viewers came from all over the world to share in Caleb and John's message.
"Hug Nation gives me a chance to stop for a minute and look beyond my own troubles," says Roseanne St. Sing of Puerto Rico, who has a five-year-old child and is going through a divorce. "I think about those who are worse off than me. I can connect and be positive."
A 26-year-old computer programmer from Alabama named Christopher says Hug Nation reminds him he needs to connect with his own grandparents the way John and Caleb connect.
Keeping the faith
John has continued Hug Nation since Caleb's death, but the webcasts feel lonely without him and John appears less comfortable without his grandfather's calming presence.
But Caleb's spirit remains on the site, and in videos shot by John during Caleb's last weeks.
"Suffering is the only form of education," Caleb said from a hospital during his final weeks. "Life is wonderful. I have no regrets."
- Producer: Erin Green
- Video Editor: Steve Neilson
Hug Nation theme song "Mu" provided by Justin Connor.
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